Gays At Church? Are You Kidding Me?
From my reading of Matthew 7:1–6
“Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a speck in your own eye? You hyprocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.” vs. 1–5
First, let me say how intimidating it is to copy the “red letter words” in the Bible. At the time they were being written down they were notes from a wise teacher’s speech. (They didn’t fully grasp who Jesus was yet.) But now we know it was Jesus, God on Earth! What other religion can claim to copy their God’s words while He was inhabiting our Earth? Great googly moogly!
Now, on to the show.
I haven’t posted this one in over a week because I wasn’t sure how to write it. I’ll probably still be struggling with it when I go to hit publish. I’m inevitably inviting harsh condemnation from some people for going soft. Oh well.
The concept of this verse is hard for me and so many other Christians. It’s also the biggest reason people avoid worshiping in church. On one hand Jesus tells us not to judge, but on the other we are supposed to uphold God’s laws and help our brothers and sisters follow the Word. It sounds confusing, but when you dive deeper it really isn’t.
I get that leaders, like Paul, had to discipline and structure the early church because it was a new religion and there needed to be boundaries. But thousands of years later some Christians are selectively using God’s Word to police their neighbor’s behavior and alienate those who desperately need the love of God. All in the name of being a good Christian.
We absolutely must recognize right from wrong and we absolutely must have the Rule of Law. However, when we aren’t a law enforcement official, elected official, or somebody put in the position to make and enforce laws we must be very careful about how we convey what we believe in terms of moral absolutes.
As I broke down this passage I kept coming back to the concept of what a judge is. The point of a judge is to hear AND decide cases. That means they have been presented all the facts and can decide whether or not a person has committed a crime. Judges are officials who are trained to weigh both sides of an issue and are sworn to uphold the letter of the law.
Last time I checked, Jesus didn’t deputize me. He didn’t give me a tin badge or black robe and say I am qualified to pass judgment. Stating an opinion is fine, even if our personal belief system declares it to be more than opinion. But we have to leave it there and trust the Holy Spirit to speak to the other person’s heart. And, maybe, just maybe sometimes we’ll have to accept that perhaps we were wrong in our declaration. Gasp!
I’m going to be brutally honest here for a second. Several years ago I nearly walked away from my lifelong faith. In short, I’d become tired of the morality police. All my life I’d attended evangelical churches from Florida to California and everywhere in between. Some of the churches I’d attended over the years had become especially good at “being good” instead of being a refuge for real people.
What do I mean by that?
Many of the sermons I was hearing focused on what everyone was doing wrong. Many of the lessons focused on the Big Sins, i.e. homesexuality, drunkeness, adultery, etc. Once I realized I wasn’t committing any of the major infractions I felt justified in judging others. After all, that’s what we were supposed to do, right? Tell others how they could be better people, like those of us in church every Sunday?
Sadly, a lot of it was well intentioned. Still, in the end, there we were, a bunch of sinners sitting in our pews, hoping that our Sunday best was enough to cover up the ugly feelings of inadequacy and filth that lurked in our own lives.
Was this what Jesus wanted? Had he died on the cross so that we could judge others while deflecting the very real issues in our own lives?
Along the way, Matthew 7: 1, “Do not judge, or you too will be judged” had somehow become, “Be the first to judge others so they don’t judge you first.”
More often that not, this is what I felt I was supposed to believe:
Gay? God’s angry at you and so am I.
Had an abortion? God’s angry at you and so am I.
Killed someone? God’s angry at you and so am I.
It was easier to judge these more “egregious” sins than it was for me to look inside myself and see the heart that had lost compassion for others.
That was really the rub for me — somewhere along the way someone had created a ranking system for sins. Some sins had become tolerated in the church while others weren’t. When I say “tolerated” I don’t mean that people celebrated them but they were certainly willing to overlook them while persecuting others for the truly bad sins.
For example, the Bible calls gluttony a sin. Yet I’d see people weighing 300 plus pounds at our church potlucks eating like there was no tomorrow. What made their food addiction (and let’s be truthful, mine) different from a porn addiction? It didn’t hurt others so it was okay, right? I don’t remember the “it’s not a bad sin if it only affects you” caveat in the Bible.
And how about financial mismanagement? Isn’t that a sin? How many people are walking around with debt up to their eyeballs, worrying about how they’ll make next month’s rent, while going out to dinner for the third time that week? It’s not really a sin Jesus cares about, right?
And don’t forget divorce. Go back fifty years and try attending a church as a divorcee. Nope. Not gonna happen. Yet, as more and more people started opting out of their marriage we saw the church’s harsh stance relax on this sin.
The truth is we’re all great big sinners!!! Show me your sin and I’ll show you three of mine.
I have to tell you — I finally just got tired of being angry and judgmental.
And that’s when I nearly left the church.
When I moved to California I started shopping around for a church to attend. After a couple of years my husband and I found a mid-sized, non-denominational church. I asked the pastor to have lunch and once there I poured out all of the hurts I’d felt as a Christian over the years; how I’d hated the Christian I’d become. I didn’t want to be a part of a church that made people hate themselves and others.
After I’d finished pouring out my burdened heart the pastor looked at me and said, “I’m with you, Angela. I agree.” He then went on to explain how in his own past he’d done what he felt good Christians should do — he’d picketed outside abortion clinics. After doing that for a while he realized that he wasn’t showing anybody Jesus’ love that way. He left that church and never looked back.
For him, showing the love of Jesus is his most important calling. That doesn’t mean he hides from Biblical truths. But, he leaves the judgment for God. He also said, “Angela, we have divorcees, struggling alcoholics, and women who have had abortions right here in our congregation. My job is to make sure they feel the love of Jesus just like everyone else.”
I knew then I’d found a home to worship in.
I wish I could say we as a society are evolving beyond judging and ostracizing others for their behaviors. I would love to believe we are moving toward unconditional love for others, regardless of their sins. The church, like society, has a long way to go.
Until mainstream evangelical churches can openly invite homesexual couples to worship alongside them, we will still be in disobedience of the verse I opened with.
That’s why the church needs to rise to the occasion now more than ever! People are hurting and struggling. I’ve never seen someone turn their life around because they were shamed in to it by people who were supposed to love and care for them. We have to be the embodiment of Christ’s love in this world.
When did Jesus get the angriest? When the church leaders had turned His church into something it shouldn’t be. The Pharisees had long subscribed to an exhaustive list of rules that needed to be followed in order to be considered holy, and in so doing had turned His temple into a “den of thieves.” But what they had forgotten was Jesus’ command to “love one another.” Something many of today’s churches and Christians could be accused of.
So, here it is: I’m not a fire and brimstone Christian. Not that I don’t think God isn’t capable of doing it. But I know for certain He hasn’t called me to be that.
I still have very strong beliefs on moral issues, but I’m not interested in judging you. Ask me how I feel on a certain issue and I’ll tell you what I think. But my quest is to do it in a loving way. A way that says, “We may believe differently on this issue but that’s ok. Let’s agree on one thing — Jesus loves us both right where we are.”
More than anything else, Jesus commands us to “love one another.” I don’t see how judging and loving co-exist. If I feel convicted enough to confront someone about a behavior I believe is amoral I better make sure I understand my motives first. Do I love them enough to lead them to a better path? And if my motive is love then hurting them should be the last thing I do. The Holy Spirit’s conviction may hurt them but not me. I must first listen, hear their point of view, then share my thoughts. After that, I must continue to be a friend, not keep beating them over the head, pray for them, and trust that God has used me as a vessel for His truth and let Him do as He will from there on out.
And for goodness sakes, let’s make room in the pew for everyone. Not just the people who sin like us!
Love,
Your Modern Day Hippie Republican Christian
These are reflections from my Bible study, in particular as I work my way through the New Testament. I’m not a Bible scholar at all. Just a regular girl seeking an awesome God! Please share my journey with me and let me know your thoughts.
If you liked this “story” please find the hand in the circle and give it a few claps and share. Makes it more visible when you do that.